Please Understand Me

If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me that my want is wrong

Or if I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my view

Or if my emotion is less than yours, or more, given the same circumstances…try not to ask me to feel more strongly or weakly

Or yet if I act, or fail to act, in a manner of your design for action, let me be

I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me.  That will come only when you are willing to give up changing me in to a copy of you

I may be your spouse, your parent, your offspring, your friend or your colleague.  If you will allow me any of my own wants, or emotions, or beliefs, or actions…then you open yourself so that someday these ways of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear to you as right…for me.

To put up with me is the first step to understanding me

Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness.  And in understanding me you might come to prize my differences from you.  And far from seeking to change me, preserve and even nurture those differences.

Taken from Please Understand Me…by David Kiersey and Marilyn Bates

Personality and conflict 

The way we sort and process information is largely determined by our personality type.

  • You may be an outgoing social-butterfly while your friend or spouse is quiet and reserved and likes time in alone or with a few close friends.
  • You may be a free-flowing creative type, while the person you are in conflict with sees this world based more on common sense or logic.
  • You may love schedules and lists while your co-worker wants to go with the flow and see what comes up while you are both involved in an important project
  • You may love a clean, organized house and your spouse or your kids couldn’t care less about an overflowing garbage can or towels on the floor

Opposites attract and the best projects, relationships, and collaborations happen when people with different ways of processing information come together. Once we begin to appreciate our differences and stop trying to change the other person in to a copy of us, conflict lessens and the level of happiness in our lives goes up.

I know this is both a scary and exciting time to be alive on this planet.  Let me help you live in to your best life.

Take Care,

Paula's signature. It is a picture with the words LOVE and then the script Paula and my logo "Evolution coach" underneath