(psst…little suggestion as you journal. Try to write this in first person…use “I” and keep it about you. If you make it about someone else, you are giving them control to change something only you can change. Who wants to do that?? If you do use “you” in your journaling, follow it up with “I” statements so you re-establish your empowerment.)
When I work towards finding balance on this earthly plane, I encounter swings from both sides. Some of these swings are quite overwhelming. Anger, blame, fear, yelling. As it comes up to express itself, it leaves damage in its wake. I patiently await the swing of the pendulum to the other side. To the side of joy, forgiveness, compassion and love.
But wait~~I must.
This feels like an onslaught. Like waves crashing against rock…taking bits and wearing away what seemed so steady and firm. From where did that forceful wave come? What hidden forces catapult this destructive force?
I feel sick. Nausea and aching shoulders capture the energy and hold it in place. Somewhere, there is a still-fresh sorrow from mourning the loss of a friend. It takes up residence in this energetic structure as well. Where does one end and the other begin? How much can this being hold?
I am good. I am loving. I care about others. I do my best.
I am trying to honour my boundaries and speak my truth and there is push back that escalates as a result.
There are things I can’t control and I accept that. Death, taxes etc.
There are things I do have some level of control over though.
I can always work towards controlling how I behave in a situation.
I will not always get it right, but I can keep trying.
That is what it is to be human….shadow and light vie for a seat at the table. When one gets up, the other sits down.
Like a game of ‘Simon says” where the music stops and a chair disappears. Who will be left standing? Fear or Love, Anger or Forgiveness, Sadness or Joy, Blame or Compassion?
When I stand in my truth and know who I am, others can not push me off my perch….
They can poke and prod and I can feel the pain inside, but I don’t have to respond in a way which is negative. I don’t have to give in to the dark side. I am progressing in this.
As soon as you label me, you put me in a box. It can be difficult to let me out, or put me in a different box.
This is how you see me and how you express your view
You are controlling
You are self-centred
You are hard to live with
This is how I see me
I am kind to others and myself
I care about others and I care about me
I am as hard to live with as I need to be in order to honour what is important to me